An revolutionary idea. (might me nsfw) 

"The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes) 10/06/2018 at 01:34 • Filed to: I probably should go to bed

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What if humans had a disanostics port. Like OBD2.

It could be a wire the put in by sergon, attaches to the bottom of spine to a sensor close to wall of the anus. Then via a Bluetooth butt plug the doctor puts it to scan for “codes”, it connects to the sensor in the body. Since the wire is connected to spine, then is connected to the brain it should give an accurate read. It could base it on paramiters of: heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature, electrical currents etc. Also imagine the after market tunes you use. What more muscle mass, get the Cobb Butt Plug garentied results in minutes 

No more waiting for results, they be instant.

facw > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 10/06/2018 at 02:03

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I mean, if I’m getting an implant, why do I need a port? Just make it wireless to begin with (humans are pretty good at blocking wifi/bluetooth but I’m sure we can make something work, especially if we only need short distance comms).

Nom De Plume > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 10/06/2018 at 02:07

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Urambo Tauro > facw 10/06/2018 at 02:20

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I’ll skip the wireless stuff , thanks. I’d like to be able to walk around without being subject to some random wireless hacking nonsense. Plug me in for diagnostic tests and skill upgrades.

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Wheelerguy > Nom De Plume 10/06/2018 at 03:01

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Tristan > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 10/06/2018 at 03:03

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I think you just solved healthcare.

MrDakka > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 10/06/2018 at 03:18

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We get it. You like butt plugs.

Personally I’d prefer Roboco’s interface spike

Svend > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 10/06/2018 at 04:24

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If I recall a few years ago there was a few British scientists who were testing such things such as heart rate, blood flow and temperature  monitors which connected wirelessly. 

The one I found interesting was the implant in your wrist that connected you to your house and your car so you didn’t need keys and you house knew when you were on your way home and would turn on the heating and lighting for when you came home and turned on and off lights as you walked around the house.

Echo51 > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 10/06/2018 at 05:21

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We already have such things! Nobody knows how to interpt results tho, but they damn well work at “testing” your systems

Wacko > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 10/06/2018 at 09:08

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It sorta exists, its called a blood  test

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 10/06/2018 at 09:17

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Then we would have people walking around with butt plugs in 24/7. So, not much would change. 

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > facw 10/06/2018 at 09:17

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I think he just wanted to include butt plugs somewhere. 

Brickman > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 10/06/2018 at 09:20

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My dad has a defibrillator that wirelessly sends data to the doctor on how the heart is doing. Checks BP, rate, sodium levels, etc. Even knows when you sleep, exercise , knows what each chamber of the heart is doing, and of course uses the defibrillator if needed, which he never needed that :)

Nom De Plume > Wheelerguy 10/06/2018 at 09:45

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Their BTLE butt plugs appear to have made them break out interpretative dance?

facw > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 10/06/2018 at 12:09

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Well, yeah, but we can still address the idea at hand (at butt?)